When Did Vampires Get To Be So Hot

with apologies to Sir Elton

Vlad the Impaler was a nasty snot.
The original Dracula, a nice guy...not!
He'd stick it to the Turks in a tender spot.
But when did vampires get to be so hot?

When did vampires get to be so hot?
Why are they romantic and zombies are not?
Soul-less evil undead seem to hit the spot.
Yeah, when did vampires get to be so hot.

Frankenstein's monster is a tragedy.
Anger and frustration's good for sympathy.
But fangs equal charisma, which he just ain't got.
And when did vampires get to be so hot?

Werewolves may be sexy for a little while.
They're always in the mood to do it doggie-style.
But they shed and wet the carpet and they eat your cat.
And no one ever has to house-train a bat.

So when did vampires get to be so hot?
Teen-age girls go weepy at the very thought.
Don't believe the sparkles, that's a line you've bought.
They're really undead monsters that refuse to rot.

Yeah, when did vampires get to be so hot?
It's not your love they want but all the blood you've got.
You're just an entree to them, ordered a-la-cart,
Or maybe a dessert that really hits the spot.

So when did vampires get to be so hot?
When did vampires get to be so hot?
All you need are fangs and you can get a lot.
yeah, when did vampires get to be so hot?