The Crofter's Retort

Yes, I know this one is out of period. I wrote this one last Fall before I joined the Shire. I had been reading histories of the Scottish regiments, and of the Highland Clearances, which incidently were particularly rough on my own Clan Mackay. Most of the things said in this are reputed to have happened, just not necessarily in the order I have them here. That's called poetic license, which allows the writer to never let the facts get in the way of a good story. I also have a good tune for this one, so just ask if you want to hear it.


The Crofters Retort

When Lord Gordon rode into the Highlands
To recruit him a regiment of men,
He said, ,
“I’ve whisky and gold
For braw Scotsmen bold.
Who’ll answer the call of the clan?
Who’ll answer the call of the clan?

But when he came to the place of the gathering,
Not a highland warrior he found
For the summons he’d sent,
But an old greybeard gent
Leaning hard on his cane by his hound.
Leaning hard on his cane by his hound.

Then Lord Gordon, he flew up in anger.
:What is this insult?” he cried.
“There should be hundreds here!
Are they quaking with fear?
Is this all that’s left of Scots pride?
Is this all that’s left of Scots pride?

Then the old man, he answered him, gently.
“You must understand ,Sir,” said he.
“The men would have come
Were this land still their home.
There’s none now to answer, you see.
There’s none now to answer, you see.”

“I remember the days of your grand dam,
When a thousand men answered her call.
Each recruit got a guinea,
And a kiss from the lady
To serve in her regiment so braw.
To serve in her regiment so braw.”

And when we followed the Clan to Culloden
To fight for the Bonny Young Prince,
Our sons, brothers, cousins,
They fell by the dozen.
We’ve been subject to English law since.
We’ve been subject to English law since.”

“For years they proscribed our bagpipes.
They banished our broadswords and plaids.
A man could be hung
If he spake his own tongue.
King’s justice rained hard on our heads.
King’s justice rained hard on our heads.”

“But of all the misfortunes we’ve weathered,
This last is the worst that we’ve kenned.
To make room for your sheep,
Our homes we can’t keep.
Your clearances have emptied each glen.
Your clearances have emptied each glen.”

“So your kin have been cleared from your highlands
While you lived in your London house fine.
They’ve gone over the sea
To find lands for the free,
Leaving you with your sheep, and your kine.
Leaving you with your sheep, and your kine.”

“But if there’re no men in your highlands
To go off, and fight foreign wars,
You’ve plenty of meat;
Beef and mutton to eat,
For any who’ll serve in your cause.
For any who’ll serve in your cause.”

“And since there’re no men in your highlands
To fight in your Queen’s wars abroad:
You’ve preferred sheep to men,
Go recruit amongst them.
Let sheep form your regiment, my lord.
Let sheep form your regiment, my lord.”