A Sad Tale With A Moral

A warrior proud came from the field
Carrying his loot,
And swiftly to his lady's side
In passionate pursuit.
She bragged about his prowess,
His honor, and his fame.
He praised her beauty, grace and poise,
Her talents, much the same.
He said, "Though evening cools the air,
My warrior blood runs hot.
Let's find ourselves a quiet place
Where all the crowds are not.
And let us take our pleasures there
As noble lovers should,
Forgetting all our troubles there.
'Twould do us both much good."
So they retired into the woods
To find a private place.
Anticipating the joys to come,
Their hearts began to race.
And there in a moonlit clearing
Behind a laughing creek,
Hearts and hands began to explore
The way to pleasure's peak.
But just as it seemed that Eros
Was going to rule the glade,
The lovers met with a crisis,
And their passion was dismayed.
For he who had known victory
On the field in so many ways
Now found himself defeated
By his Lady's corset stays.
The ties and laces, clasps and binds
That fortified her frame
proved unassailable ramparts
'Tween the warrior and his dame.
No matter how he labored,
No matter how he pressed,
He found himself frustrated
By his Lady's period dress.
The moonlight and mood were wasted
Their lover's ardor grew cold.
The noble knight began to curse,
His lady began to scold.
They spent a cold and lonely night
On opposite sides of their tent.
And in the morning they packed their gear
And unhappily home they went.
This story has a moral
That all lovers should take heed.
If you would indulge in courtly love,
To you ladies I would plead.
Although your gaments are lovely,
And accurate to your time,
Correct in all their interior
To create an effect sublime,
Don't make it too complicated
For a fighter's hands, clumsy and rough;
For what good is a beautiful period gown
If your lover can't get it off.