There's Got To Be A Pony

Thank God I'm not where I was when I wrote this any more.


I keep telling myself, somewhere there’s got to be a pony.
I’m digging through the shit for all I’m worth
And it seems all I get for my efforts
Is more shit.
More let-downs of my own making,
Because I’m working at counter-purposes to myself.

How do I break that circle?
How do I stop defeating myself?
How do I die to my own nature
So that something new can take its place?

I recall all the good words about this and that,
And I believe, but I find
The doing don’t happen, and I fall back again.
Still yearning, still hungry, still hurting
For the promised release that hasn’t appeared yet.
Cause I want to know, and know that I know
That this is all behind me.
I want the calm assurance of a Christian with four aces.
I want the Spirit to sweep in And drive out the old me.
To remove the desire so I can move on.
But for now, I keep digging
And fighting myself,
And telling myself
There’s got to be a pony.