My Testament

The substance of the things we hope for most.
The sure existence of those things not seen.
Things that I always for granted, took,
Raised from birth, as a matter of course.
Belief was always constant, a given.
On Sunday mornings that was what one did.
No questions necessary, so none asked.
Though in time I came to understand
Questions and answers intellectually.
Emotion cannot carry me alone,
My mind must be engaged before belief.
And I knew all the rational answers
For that which I had, by instinct, believed.
But faith unpracticed, soon will atrophy,
Withering away under neglectful care.
Self-absorbed in my comfy little world,
I had no desire to cultivate
The half-grown seed of faith planted in me.
Until the day my world came crashing down,
And suddenly I found myself adrift,
With nothing solid to depend upon.
That is, except for my neglected faith,
Which proved a solid anchor then for me.
A God to cry to, rage at, even doubt,
But teaching faith by being faithful first,
Through all my storms, and helping me to heal,
Surrounding me with those who’d hold me up,
Held me together, loved me through the pain,
Through all my darkest nights when I did not
Have any real desire to go on,
Crawling back each agonizing step
From deep despair, to stand alone again.
That which I have believed has stood the test,
And it’s by faith that I reclaim my life.
Call me naïve’, but I’ve been to the well,
And brought, by faith, back from the depths of hell.