The Minstrel's Extortion

Hmmm. I'm having a fairly productive month.

The Minstrel's Extortion


I'm a minstrel of talent, repute and renown,
Known the length and breadth of the realm.
I've sung my verses for lordship and crown
In the finest courts of the land.
I've ballads and ditties to charm and delight
The angels, and devils to grieve.
For a tankard of ale I'll sing you a song,
But if you give me two tankards, I'll leave.

I've satires rendered in elegant verse
Of iambic meter, or prose,
Describing life's foibles, profound or perverse.
Would you care to hear one of those.
To grant you these riches, I merely demand
A glass of fine ale and I'll play.
But I can't play my tunes with a glass in each hand,
So I'll merrily take those away.

Long have I studied the poetic art,
Crafting my words into song;
Tunes that would melt the stoniest heart,
And make all who hear sing along.
To enlighten your ears I simply require
A mug of a tasty brown brew.
But excessive drinking makes my throat to tire,
S o I'll go off if you give me two.

There's naught I love better than to perform
For the crowd at revels or feast.
My greatest pleasure is to see my words warm
All hearts from the great to the least.
To gather at evening by welcoming fire,
I happ'ly stand to entertain.
A tankard of ale is the cost of my hire,
But with two I will sit down again.

So what's it to be, good gentles and friends?
Shall my melodies dance in your ears?
If my song doesn't please, I will quick make amends
With one that will bring you to tears.
A glass of fine ale will set my voice ringing
In the shade of this mighty oak trunk.
But if you've no taste to hear your bard singing,
Give me two ales and keep your bard drunk!