Location: Shire of Trisel, Trimaris

I am in my late forties, a proud husband, father, and a bard. I am a book pedlar by trade and a bookman by vocation. I am a romantic, a realist, and a Believer. I like a good joke, and a bad one even better. I admire all ladies for the innate beauty that is in each one, but my heart is sworn to the fair and gentle Lady Lorelei, who has consented to share my life and my name.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Rover Finds a Home

The dust of long uncounted roads
Is caked upon my feet.
My wanderings have carried me
Down ways I can’t recall.
Faces in my memory
Encountered as I passed
Remind me that, for all I’ve seen,
I haven’t seen it all.

But now, I’m contemplating
Giving up my lonely ways;
A new adventure grounded in
A family and home.
The comforts of the hearth call me
To leave the empty nights;
To leave aside my wanderings,
Let some other minstrel roam.

Yes, the road has its appeal:
The pleasures of the nights
Spent entertaining strangers
By a campfire’s welcome glow.
But loneliness wears on the body,
Tires the very soul:
No life to grow old in,
And so I let it go.

Instead of stranger’s faces,
I want now, to see just one,
That loves me with my whole heart,
As equally I her.
And though sometimes, I’ll miss the road,
Still I have no regrets.
Of all the lives that I could choose,
I know which I prefer.

So I remove my traveling shoes,
And leave them by the door.
No more I’ll go a roving
Through the country far and wide.
Unless, some day there comes a time
To walk those roads again,
Not alone, but with my
Loving Lady by my side.

The Pirate Song

Oh, I’m a pirate lad and I’m OK.
I drink all night and I fight all day.

I capture ships.
I drink my rum.
I raid the coast of France.
I steal King Louie’s treasure,
And make fun of his pants!

Oh, I’m a pirate lad and I’m OK.
I drink all night and I fight all day.

I capture ships.
I loot and burn.
I sail with Francis Drake.
We plunder Spanish shipping,
Then hold a big clambake.

Oh, I’m a pirate lad and I’m OK.
I drink all night and I fight all day.

I capture ships.
I wear my sword.
My crewmates, they all stink.
Why do I hang around them?
Cause they drive a man to drink!

Oh, I’m a pirate lad and I’m OK.
I drink all night and I fight all day.

I capture ships.
I fight for gold.
I kill the random Turk.
It’s not much of a living,
But it’s better far than work!

Oh, I’m a pirate lad and I’m OK.
I drink all night and I fight all day.
I’m a pirate lad and I’m OK…….
I drink all night, and I fight all day!

Monday, August 25, 2008

The Crab's Drinking Song

Bring me a whiskey, Keelin.
I’m feeling risky, Keelin.
I’m feeling in the mood to
Try something dumb.
Don’t say I hadn’t aughter
Fill up with firewater.
The liquor’s calling me to
Come and get numb.

I’m in the food to frolic
With something alcoholic,
Parked by a campfire
With a bottle or three.
When I spit in the fire
See how the flames leap higher.
My veins have lighter fluid
Running through me.

Sitting beside the blaze,
Drifting into a haze,
Feeling my body functions
Slow to a crawl:
The temperature is dropping.
My insides all are flopping.
This wasn’t such a
Good idea after all.

The time now is oh dark thirty.
My mood is turning dirty,
Curled in a fetal ball
Inside of my tent
Oh God! When bowels attack,
Here comes my dinner back!
I’m hypothermic
And my innards are bent.

Unhappy circumstance!
Back up the ambulance!
My weekend’s over
And misery abounds.
But here’s a bitter lesson
That I have learned, I’m guessing:
Never get plastered
When the Bard is around.

A Note of Recognition

Your Majesties, I pray attend
Whiles’t I speak of a worthy friend
Who’s proved himself in many ways
A credit to Meridies.
Quick to lend a helping hand,
Without waiting for command,
He serves his shire with a smile,
And always goes the extra mile.
He doesn’t brag; he seeks no fame:
Thomas of Owl’s Nest Is his name.
All His companions would agree,
His is the best of loyalty.
In recognition, I resort
To make to you this bard’s report.

A Victory Toast

Let the heralds proclaim the news
To every noble lord:
The most audacious rapiers
Fight for the Red Sword.
Where ever earnest steel is drawn
In tourney or melee,
Rest assured the Red Sword
Company will own the day.
See how the proudest cavaliers
Let aspirations fade
When o'er the List they see the banner
Bearing the Scarlet Blade.
They take their loss and then enjoy
The hospitality
Most graciously provided
By the Red Sword Company
The crimson edge is sharpest
Evident for all to see
So lift a glass in honor of
The Red Sword Company

A Wedding Invitation

Across the miles , our love has grown
A miracle that’s all our own
A gift of God to each our hearts
A joining of two separate parts
So now we come to pledge our love
Acknowledging our Lord above
And we invite our friends to share
The joy that God’s created here
For it is He who’s made us one
Come celebrate what God has done